Monday, January 20, 2014

If Jerry Watched His Own Performance

Jerry Garcia watches his own Performances
I was wondering the other day that if Jerry Garcia was still alive and hopefully sober, then what would be his reaction to watching footage of his concert performances in 1995.

I can imagine him, five years clean, sitting alone in a room and watching how his health and his addiction completely destroyed his performances and his ability to play.

I know he was self aware of his inability to perform, but what would it have been like a few years later, looking back through clean and sober eyes, at how awful his condition was and therefore how awful his performances were.

It reminds me of when David Hasselhoff''s daughter recorded him when he was drunk trying to eat a cheeseburger.  What must have crossed his mind when he watched that tape later on.

Jerry 1995
Jerry 1993

Look at the two pictures, and see how much he declined in just two years.  Its sad that at 53 he looked like he was 81, but in some weird way at least we got to see what Jerry might have looked like had he ever achieved old age.

Its been said before that truly special, magical artists are usually short timers on this planet, but does that always have to be true?

At least Jerry in 1995 didn't look like Jerry in 1981....


As a recovering addict I wish Jerry would have gotten a chance to hear his performances. And what do I know maybe he did. There was a reason he turned his volume down in the mix during the final months.

At the end of the day I would love to be able to read an interview where Jerry reflects on his years of addiction and what it did to his music, but that would also mean Jerry would still be with us and I think truly that is what I wish for the most.

But I would rather have him dead as an addict then alive if he wasn't ever going to recover.

And with his track record, I don't think he would have cleaned up his act in 1995 if he hadn't died. I think Jerry was meant to be an active addict until the end.

That's what happens when you're rich, and surrounded by people who won't tell you the truth.

Celebrity's a bitch.  Just ask Jerry.

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